The Satirical Writings of Mmizz Llizz

Why have a blog if you’re not gonna write?  I don’t know, but I have one, so GET OVER IT!!!  LOL…I’m just in rare form today.  I went out last night for the first time without the babies since before they were born!  Yep, a whole 15 months since the last time I was out amongst adults, having a good time.  Sure, the babies are my life and they are all I’ll ever need, BUT!!!  A girl’s gotta get out, “flaunt” her stuff and pretend she’s not just a Mother, but a WOMAN as well.  It would have worked great too, but the night ended a little too sickening for my taste!

First off, if you’d like to judge me…just get on with it!  That’s your fair warning for what I’m about to admit in this blog.  I mean, it’s been no secret for the past 8 years of my life.  I’ve been “straight” forward with everyone in my life about who I am and I try mostly to explain why I am who I am or the way I am, but some people will just never get it!  If that’s you, well just move on.  It’s cool, no big deal and there are plenty of other “normal” people who have blogs that you can go and read.  So anyhow, I’M BISEXUAL!!!  Yeah, it’s just one aspect of my life that makes me the woman I am today.  There are certain circumstances in my past that have led me down this path in life…I wasn’t born this way.  There are just some criminal assholes in the world that like to f*ck with peoples’ lives not giving a shit about the consequences…WOW, WHAT A RANT!  LOL  The whole concept isn’t funny, so don’t think I’m laughing about that, just the cursing.  Yes, I amuse myself and I’m damn proud that I have that ability!!!

So anyhow, that was just to set the stage for my little story.  There’s a local band around here that I absolutely love.  They play the same old songs and their routine is a bit repetitive, HOWEVER, they have great party personalities and are great fun to be around.  Having said that, the lead singer is (in my opinion) a hot blonde!  I’ve been drooling over her for the past 5 years and it’s been really fantastic flirting and letting the lust show.  Given the chance 5 years ago when I was certainly wilder, I may have “gone there!”  A little bit older, a little bit wiser, and a LOT MORE RESPONSIBLE~~~today, I wouldn’t go there!  Don’t take that wrong…Beth, I’ll always LUST you, lmao!  I’ve just settled down a lot.  I got 2 little guys that are counting on me to make more right choices than wrong ones these days.  A lot tougher than I realized it would be.  And I must say that although I wanted to be a younger Mother, I can really appreciate that I got the opportunity to go and sew a lot of wild oats.  I’m sure everything I’ve experienced up to this point in my life has made me a stronger Mother than I ever could have been 10 years ago!!!  And, I always agree that everything happens for a reason!!!  Where I’m at now is the ideal place and atmosphere to raise those handsome little devils and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come.  OK, gushing here!!!  LOL

I got so off track!  There’s seriously a whore on the floor in this story somewhere!!!  So I got the babies all ready for bed last night…breastfed, changed, dressed, etc. and headed out for a great night at the bar…YEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWW!!!  Yeah, that’s what you get when you live “in the stix” where bowling is pretty much your only other option!!!  We showed up and I couldn’t be happier to get that great big flashy smile as soon as I caught her eyes…HELL YEAH!!!  I was on my best behavior…SCOUTS HONOR!!!  But I got my hugs and enough touching (non sexual PEOPLE…this is not a pornographic blog I’m running here!!!) to put a smile on my face for the rest of the night!*  They sang & performed, some people danced, and you don’t want to know what the male bartenders were wearing!!!  That’s probably a blog for another day.  So, there’s this one chick…guess there’s always that one person, huh?  And, you know, I sometimes use to be that one person if I was drunk enough.  But this lady woman girl, mid 30’s, (I’d say) blonde, OK looking, was in a short black skirt FLAUNTING EVERYTHING!!!  Naturally, the more she drank, the more she exposed!  Did I really wanna know what color her underwear (from hip to ass, mind you) were?  NOPE!!!  But there they were in all their PINK F*CKING GLORY for all to see!  Not just once either!!!  UGH!  And did I want to see what (her man???) looked like with his shirt off???  That’s a negative too!  They were bumpin’, they were grindin’, and only God knows what else!!!  I’da pretty much chalked it up to air f*cking!  I was having great fun up to that point, really I was!  I actually found a drink I could tolerate and actually ended up enjoying the taste…that, my friends, is a shocker in itself.  Let’s just say I don’t get along with a variety of liquors any longer!!!  And beer???  Fuhhggeddabouddit!!!  YUCK…the thought of the taste of beer just nauseates me…THIS COMING FROM THE GIRL WHO USE TO BEER BONG WITH THE BEST OF ‘EM!!!  Yeah, I’m turning into a pansy…get over that one too!

So yeah, back to (what I like to call her, as you’ve already guessed) the Whore on the Floor…like, YUCK!!!  That chick really needs to learn more self -respect and respect for others.  I KNOW I KNOW…if someone would have said that to me a few years back, I would have been blood-boiling pissed!!!  However, I realize now how much of an ass I was and all of the stupid shit I’ve done in my past AND I’M NOT 30 YET DAMNIT!!!  I don’t like to judge, I really don’t! But I refuse to hold back my opinion on my damn blog…LADY (and I use that term rather loosely {no pun intended, whatsoever!!!}) GET A F*CKING** CLUE!!!  Not too many people find that sexy or entertaining…and those that do???  MY POINT EXACTLY!!!  There’s nothing wrong with having fun and maintaining some dignity at the same time.  You can still flash it and flaunt it with minimum exposure and get maximum results.  Oh well, at least I got the chance to vent!  Now I’m done…WHEW!

Anyhow, I was tired and just wanted to call it a night.  I didn’t drink and party nearly as much as I had intended, but I did drink a pretty decent amount…enough to have a crappy hangover today!  That’s fine, it was expected and I was covered, lol.  We grabbed a bite to eat and headed home.  I put the babies to sleep or they put me to sleep, one of the two.  All in all, I suffered minimally compared to what I had anticipated and I got to take an afternoon nap today, SO IT’S ALL GOOD!!!

Now I’m back to boring, so I’m gonna cut y’all loose before I start babbling about stupid shit!  Take care and peace out, yo!!!

* I haven’t found a therapist yet that works with people who have exclamation point issues!!! :o)

**Yeah, like an asterisk in any form of the word fuck really makes a difference!!! :o) Sue me, I think it adds character!!!